April Showers

It took Ellie some time to will herself out of the car. If she could, she might just sit there for hours, staring out the windshield and not thinking about anything at all.

It didn't take any time to find Ross's grave. She remembered where they buried him clear as day. Two rows down from the blackberry bushes, front and center. His grave wouldn't stand out from anyone elses, but to her it looked so very different.

It had been raining for a long time and so she wasn't surprised when she had to step in a little mud on the way there. Ah, well. It's not like she actually cared about these sneakers. She didn't care much about material possessions anymore.

It was six months time since he had been gone, and so much had changed. She insisted upon living on her own in their house, but her sister was only an hour away and came to check on her even if she didn't call. Ellie had decided to take up crafting again, as a sort of therapy. She had recently become adept at making little dolls.

It was four days time until her life would change again. Her hands naturally cradled her rather large mound of a belly, feeling the maternal heat go through her to warm the chill that came with the rain. She had only told him she was pregnant two weeks before he died. At least he knew. Some never got the chance to know. She just wished he was around for this. She wished the baby would get to know his father.

It was a short time after that she began to go back through their memories together, having had so many yet so few. The time he took her to Disneyworld on their honeymoon and they had both gotten the flu. The time she had accidentally broken his nose with a stray tennis ball. The time they had their first kiss in her bedroom, which would be the same place they had sex for the first time. The time she didn't want to go to prom because she didn't have a dress, and he took her to an open field and made her dance anyway. The time they got married, and she saw a long and happy future with him, and it was the best day of her life.

It was a long time she stood there before being gently drawn back into the present. The baby was pushing down on her bladder again, and though it was annoying, it also reminded her that she couldn't stay in the past forever. The future was rapidly on its way and she couldn't stand to not be ready for it. She gently rubbed her belly in sentiment, and quietly said goodbye to Ross's grave, waddling through the mud and rain back to her car. She didn't know when she would visit again, and that no longer bothered her.